Christmas is magic.

I miss being home at Christmas. How I wish I could travel back in time when every Christmas was spent with my entire family. I miss mama's desserts. I miss helping daddy sweeten the ham and pretending I was a doctor while I use a syringe to inject it with beer and honey. I miss the taste of lola's hot chocolate or sikwati as she would call it. I miss seeing lolo enter the room with an armload of presents for me and my brothers. I miss the enraged feeling I get whenever I catch one of my brothers secretly pocketing coins that my mom throws on corners for good luck, a responsibility that I take very very seriously. I love eating fruitcake even though I don't really like fruitcake. I love the old familiar carols and the colorful parols. I loved the sameness of every christmas. There is comfort in ritual, isn't there?

But however bittersweet the memories of past christmases are, christmas is christmas. There is something about it that gives me a happy, giddy feeling whenever it's drawing near. However far I am from family, whatever situation I am in, I will always get excited for Christmas. I thank God that each year there is always something to be thankful for. And this year, I thank God for the gift of friends.

Here's how we spent our christmas eve!

I made spaghetti, marinated the ribs and prepared caramel cream cheese dip for the apples. Itine baked tiramisu and one of our friends sent over some chicken adobo and pastel (rice topping wrapped in taro leaves).

 

We discovered the Fireplace Channel on t.v. which I thought was brilliant. And we've discovered, too, that Lauro almost sings like Jovit. lol

 

The obligatory beer pose.

 

Acting surprised, when in fact we shopped for our presents together and just wrapped them up so we have something to unwrap at christmas eve. haha 

 

I finally own a pair of platform shoes!

 

 

i love his shoes!! i wish they had this in women's sizes..

 

opening of gifts..

 

 

and of course.. pictorials...

Curse you, laundry!

Ironing clothes plus Gone With The Wind equals back to back tragic story.. The worst part is, the movie was just finishing when I got the last piece of clothing done. The movie was 4 hrs long. FML.

I shall bless the day when wearing wrinkled clothing is considered most fashionable!

p.s. Can I just say that I am in love with Rhett Butler? yes, that fictional character in the movie. And yes, I am pathetic. lol

Birthday Girl

Last week, one of my closest friends celebrated her 27th birthday. She just recently immigrated here together with her boyfriend and it is their first time being away from home. We knew how she felt, so we wanted to do something special for her. We prepared a very personal dinner for a party of 5. We prepared everything ourselves--from scratch---including the cake and the cupcakes! It was my first try at baking too, and it turned out okay and we ended up having a really good time. It's nice when you're this far away from home and you have that small group of friends that you can almost call a family.

Anyway, we got really spontaneous later that night and I suggested we do a "birthday photoshoot" for her. I did her make up and the 3 of us turned my room into an instant studio. In the living room, Lauro and Paul had to watch tv in the dark 'coz we took the lamps for our lighting too. lol.

She was reluctant at first coz she never really wears make-up and didn`t think she knew how to pose for the camera. Well, I thought she was a natural and her make-up, not that I`m tooting my own horn *wink*, looks fantastic on her.

I later post-processed the pictures that I took and it blew me away. I mean, I'm not even taking any credit for the pictures at all. She looked amazing in them and it`s all her. I don't think she knows how beautiful she really is.

cant wait.

March 26, 2011

Five days from now, I will be moving to a new apartment. As of the moment, I am sharing my apartment with 2 others. Not that I am complaining because I have had worse living conditions when I was in Dubai (but that requires a whole other blog so I am not discussing it here—yes, it is that interesting).

Anyway, I am looking forward to this move mainly because finally *drum roll* I WILL HAVE MY VERY OWN BATHROOM! Excuse my being mababaw but you must understand that growing up, I had to share a bathroom with my two brothers and by brothers I mean your regular don’t-know-what-a-toilet-seat-is-for-and-toilet-is-too-small-a-target-so-don’t-blame-me kind of brothers—but worse. The floor was always wet and God forbid if I left my towel in there. But! That’s all in the past now. Because I will have my very own bathroom. Yehesss.

I’m feeling very good about having this new place. It almost feels like I’m starting all over again. I’ll be setting up a new room and I got some new furniture coming in. Somehow, I feel inspired to use this new environment so that I personally can make a fresh start as well. Maybe I could work on those projects and tumblr challenges that I planned to do since January. Or maybe I can start miniaturing as a hobby now that I have room for a work station. On my next blog, I should probably start itemizing what I plan to do when I’ve completely moved in. I’ll do that as soon as I’ve decided which 10 out of 1 thousand things I want are realistic enough for me to actually attempt to do. :) Here’s to a hopeful moving-in week.

Ronaldo

Dec 18, '09 5:11 AM

Bono of U2:

One love
One blood
One life
You got to do what you should
One life
With each other
Sisters
Brothers
One life
But we're not the same
We get to
Carry each other
Carry each other

Meet my sponsored child, Ronaldo!



I am posting this to encourage everyone to sponsor a child too! There are still thousands of children waiting for their chance to be sponsored..to be fed..to be given hope..to live!

Sometimes we get too preoccupied with our own concerns that we fail to see that there are bigger, more urgent problems in the world. Children like Ronaldo are dying of hunger and untreated diseases. Our money could help save them. Children his age shouldn't have to worry about their next meal..or have to labor..or die of hunger and illness. They should be out playing and know how candies and chocolates taste like. They should have a 'childhood' like the rest of us too. It's disturbing to think that they have to beg for the very things that we throw out. :(

Sponsoring Ronaldo will only cost me about 5 burger meals from McDonald's (a favorite!) but in return, i get to make a child happy..and nothing is as pure as a happy child. I get to deliver hope too, which may be the only thing he's got at the moment. Best of all, I get to let him know that God loves him and He hasn't forgotten about him.

Let's pay it forward. We all have been blessed. Let us not live for our selves alone. Let us not live for our families and friends alone. Let us not live for our countries alone. Let us live for the world.

Contact a World Vision Office nearest you. :)

Lucky 7!

Apr 27, '09 2:03 PM

I don't really blog about Lauro and me..but I will make an exception this time because we're celebrating our 7th year together. I realized that there's so much about us that it's quite hard to organize all of them..so I just made lists instead of paragraphs..hehe

7 THINGS I LOVE ABOUT HIM
1. He has an enormous amount of patience! I don't think he'll ever be seriously angry with me. At all. I can get away with anything. Good thing I've learned not to abuse it. (tama Lau?hehe)
2. He cries easily. And I'm his tearjerker. haha. I like it when he cries so I tell him 'makahilak' stories like me having a terminal illness and all..haha..He cries over anything..even Wowowee contestants, fast cars racing, sappy movies, etc.. He gets teary eyed saying grace on anniversary dinners. He even cried over the 'transforming' of the Transformers..kay gwapo daw kaayo.haha He cries when he's overwhelmed. He tries to hide it. Sometimes when a tear is actually rolling na, he still denies it, wears a pa-macho2 poker face and pretends I'm imagining it.hahaha

3. He's really, really funny. He makes me laugh all the time! It was the first thing I liked about him.

4. He's very very sweet..He's not the creative-romantic type and all, but he has his ways. He HATES writing but he writes me looooong love letters because he knows i love them. He always thinks that way. He never says no to me. Seems impossible, I know, but he never does. Even when he knows it's binuang na. He'll wear french tips or pink nail polish to class if I ask him to. Which I did. haha. He also can't stand it when I'm mad or nagatampo at him. so he's usually the first to say sorry even when he knows it's my fault..(this, i abuse..haha)
5. He's nice to everybody, not just to me. So I know he's a really good person. But I like that he's especially nice to my family and my friends. He extends his love to the people I love. It's really sweet.
6. He's the type of friend/person whom you can ask favor from without you having to think 'ok lang kaya? dili ulaw?'. I'm telling you whatever it is, he's ok with it. No side comments, no complains. That's his nature. So imagine what it's like to be his girlfriend.hahaha
7. I love that he loves his family so much. I don't know a lot of guys who adore their dads, are super sweet to their moms and be on-call slaves by their sisters. haha Trust me, you'll like that kind of boyfriend.

7 THINGS I HATE ABOUT HIM
1. he has to ask a question more than once..like he can't believe your answer the first time he hears it. even if it's super believable naman..
2. he shakes his legs too often.

3. i don't know why, but during moments when he needs to be quick and alert like trying to catch a cab, or agawan sa bus, he is painfully slow!

4. he's too obsessed with cars..enough said on that.

5. when there's a cool video on youtube, he has to watch all the other related videos..for example, those funny lipsync videos, he has to watch all the videos of the singer..makasuka na..

6.he eats too fast. we both love eating but i eat slow. so he usually gets to eat more. wala nay mabilin. and yes, we fight over food a lot.haha

7. i actually just ran out of things i don't like about him. so there, i hate that he's too nice that i always look like the 'bad guy'. no, i'm not, ok?! ma, kuya, friends, everyone! i'm nice, he's just tooooo nice, ok? hehe


7 THINGS/PLACES WE LIKE TO DO/GO
1. we like to eat. that's what we always do.
2. arcades! It's the first thing we look for in a mall. We miss the ones in Davao, tag singko lang.hehe We used to spend our entire Saturday afternoons at the arcades there. When we're with other people though, we fight the urge. We don't want them to feel they're chaperoning 2 little children.

3. on a couch in front of the television. Munching on something.

4. playing something..sports, computer games, card games, etc..anything that can tell who's better than who..haha

5. bars! we love the night life! we like to boogie! eww..not boogie oi, chika2 with friends..

6. internet...we're connected 24/7..downloading something..cheaters..haha

7. in our fantasyland..we always daydream. We have a perfect little world in our minds where we're doing what we love.. he's a racecar driver/autoshop owner and i'm a freelance artist/philanthropist. We have enough money to go see the world and we're with our families. We put additional details to that perfect life every now and then..it's our favorite hang-out.

(WARNING: some items on this list may wipe out any respect you have for us..i'm putting our dignity here in danger of annihilation. char! haha..but just for the sake of telling the truth, here goes..)
7 UNUSUAL/GROSS THINGS WE DO

1. sometimes, when we get too bored, we pick our noses and chase each other with the booger. (see, i told you)

2. we're masters of the art of catching a fart with your hand and releasing the deadly fume very close to the nostrils of the unsuspecting victim. (we're each other's victims ha..we're not that bastos din to damay other people..hehe)
3. we spit on each other's faces--for fun, that is.During 'pasuyaay', when the other is on our faces, is winning and gets too annoying already, we spit on his/her face to stop his/her jubilation. Self-control is a must here, though. We're only allowed small droplets of saliva per spit. Parang mist lang dapat..haha
4. we hit each other constantly during conversations..suntok, batok, hapak, sipa, etc.and we fight like cats and dogs whether alone or with other people. Our friends get tired of watching/hearing us so we try to keep it down.
5. We like to embarass each other in front of other people.
6. Although we look like we hate each other, we very rarely have serious fights. We have 'tampo2' lang and usually we just talk until everything seems funny already. The offender is instantly forgiven if he can force the other to smile. That's our rule. He's lucky he has a funny face (and I can't keep a straight face).haha
7. We don't have long fights or tampuhan anymore. They don't last more than 15 minutes because we find it pointless when we know magbati lang din after. We just know it won't get worse than a simple argument so it's all really superficial to us. Plus, in the middle of those arguments or silent treatments more interesting things come up like 'san tayo eat after?' or 'hui may good news ako'..ma-erase na ang pinag-awayan by the mention of food..

7 DREAMS/FRUSTRATIONS WE SHARE
1. we both wish we were taller. We're miniatures..huhu
2. british accents!

3. we like to travel..but our love for it is inversely proportional to the money we have to actually get somewhere..haha

4. someday, somehow, we'll be really really good in playing the drums..
5. we love sports. We've been trying to discover where we're actually good at so we try different kinds every now and then.We're always frustrated because we're never good enough to join tournaments and all.. ambitious! hehe
6. we both feel like we've been robbed of our 'gimik2' stage in life..what with working abroad this soon and all..we really miss Saturday nights in Davao..not that we're party animals..we don't really go to disco clubs..but nights spent at Torres, MTS, coffee shops, last full shows, or just at friends' houses are just so perfect! *omaygad, i'm teary-eyed*
7. we miss our families so bad.. =( we spend a good amount of time daily just missing them. This is our worst frustration..and that leads us to our greatest dream which is to someday live with them in the same house again.

7 THINGS I LIKE ABOUT US
1. we love our families more than anything in the world. They always come first. I believe that is the reason why we are very happy and blessed today.
2. For us, no good thing is worth anything unless we share it.
3. Normally, we talk to each other in a harsh way..Pinasingka and barahanay. But during a fight, no matter how angry we are, we never ever say bad words or shout at each other. We're not allowed to raise our voice even a little. (So if you see us shouting at each other and calling each other names and we look angry, we're just playing. Honest.)

4. i'm a girl who's very informal, immature and have no poise at all... It's such a great thing that I'm with someone much worse than that. whew!

5. we're both very spiritual..and conscientious..(char) so I like that we're good influences on each other..although in food indulgence and sleep patterns, i'm not so sure..hehe
6. He can be a girl friend to me and I can be his guy friend whenever we need each other to be. I like cars and game consoles now.. and he knows his way around patent pumps and skinny jeans and he knows how ugly gladiators are. haha..So he made me a little boyish, and I made him more effeminate than he already is..haha
7. It's amazing that after 7 years, everything is still light and breezy. We're actually growing up together. It's like having your bestfriend with you on a road trip to a place where all your dreams come true. Exciting! It sounds corny but it just feels exactly like that. (and there's no other way to put it, okay?)

I surrender

Apr 24, '09 3:04 AM

Dear God,

For the things that have to happen, thank You for being merciful. Thank You for choosing the perfect time, the perfect day, the perfect moment. Your reasons are beyond me, Lord..and I may sometimes fail to understand..but my trust in You will always be my strength..and Your love for me will pacify my heart.


***My uncle had a stroke in the morning of Maundy Thursday. It was a massive stroke and he had to be transferred from hospital to hospital. He instantly fell into a coma and passed away after 3 days. It was the first death in our family. He had no family of his own so he lived with my family and my grandparents. I am just so thankful that it happened during Holy Week. The only time that my other relatives come home is during Lent and Christmas season. Had it happened any other day of the year, I don't know how my family would have handled it.

------------------

It broke my heart that I could not go home. I was his favorite pamangkin. I was his only girl. But I know he understands..and I know this is what he wants me to do.

I wrote a Eulogy for him which I asked kuya to read on my behalf.

*

My lolo once told me, ''People will not remember you for what you did, or what you gave or for what you said. They will remember you for what you have made them feel.'' My lolo is right. Because today, as we say goodbye to Tito Richie, we know that he will be remembered forever. For in his own ways, he has made us all feel special to him.

Tito Richie was a simple man who lived a simple life. He did not do great things. But the things he did were noble and I can honestly say that my Tito Richie is a good person with a great heart. His greatest example is showing me how to love and care for a parent. The way he took care of Lola was something only Tito Richie could have done. He had the greatest love for Lola and he showed it everyday. He made me feel how much of a privilege it is for children to be able to care for a parent. And I will forever remember Tito for that.

Tito Richie did not have much to give. But whatever he had, he gladly shared it all to us. He was always so selfless… always willing to give. And that makes me feel very special to him. He always made us feel that way… like we were the sons and daughter that he never had. And again, I'll forever remember Tito for that.

Tito Chie, did not have much to say about things. He doesn't really talk much. But he's very sincere when he does. I could not remember a time when he got into a fight with my daddy or my other Titos and Titas. He showed deep respect for his older siblings. During arguments or family issues, he never takes sides. He'll just stay around to listen. He always made us feel that no matter how wrong or right we are, we will always have him.

I know Tito has made everyone else here feel that way too. The memory of a feeling does not go away. And for that, he will never be forgotten. The memory of Tito will always make us feel good about ourselves… it will always make us smile.

I will miss you Tito Richie..Thank you for being there for us. Thank you for teaching me great things. When I go home, I know I will look for you and I know I will miss you even more. But I know, too, that even if you're not with us physically, you will be looking after us, just as you always have. Don't worry because Kuya Carlo, Paulo and I will always look after our family. We will make you proud. I will always remember you Tito, and I will keep you with me… because I cannot imagine a life without you. I have no other Tito Richie... I love you.

My Hero

Mar 24, '09 11:36 AM

"Ate girl, don't forget ha, everyday kausap-kausapin

si Lola and tell her to pray for me."

That's what I repeatedly tell Lola's caregiver everytime I call.

My lola is 75 years old. She can't talk. I can't remember the last time I heard her say a word. The only time we hear her voice is when she cries--which is often. She can't walk either--or stand for that matter. She sits on a wheelchair all day and must be carried to her bed at night. She already lost control of most of her muscles. That means she's in diapers. She always chokes even on mashed food because of problems with her swallowing muscles. Her neck, arms and legs are rigid all the time so she really can't move even if we help her.

My lola has Alzheimer's disease, or so we've been told. Some doctors say that she has severe dementia coupled with complications of a mild stroke that went unnoticed years ago.

Before this illness, my Lola was the opposite of what I just described. She's just like the Lola we all had--except better. My brothers and I grew up with her and Lolo. Both my parents work during the day so we're usually left to their care. Lola taught me early catechism and I like to believe that I have great faith in God today because of her. She bought me my first books and she took me to all my school field trips. My favorite foods until today are the ones which Lola used to cook for us when we were little. In addition to all that, and most important of all, she buys me lollipops when everyone was trying to keep sweets from me.. she comes to my rescue when Kuya's treating me like a punching bag during a fight.. she never gets annoyed when I ask too many questions and she never raises her voice at us when we screw up. She's also very active. We never see her sitting around during the day. She's always up and about the house.. always cooking something, organizing the house, inviting guests over and asking us about school.

These past few years, though, she's not well. It's hard for me to even look at her.. to see that she's suffering and crying because she can't talk to us and ask us how we are just like she used to. It hurts to see that she's sad and scared inside and she can't even express it.. to see that the Lola I once knew is gone.. the one who took care of me when I was the one who cannot walk, or needed help when eating..when i couldn't control my own muscles or change my own diapers..when I was the one who bothered everyone with my crying because I'm hungry or something hurts and I can't talk. It hurts everyone in the family but all we can do is pray for her.

Well, she may be less than what she was but I'm proud of her. No less than I have ever been proud of her before. And I am proud of my family for standing by her through all these. Lola may not be well but she's not alone and I know, one way or another, that makes her happy. I once knew someone's Lola before who was very healthy until she turned 90. She was still strong but was miserable because she lived alone when she has 5 children and several grandchildren. Until her last days she had no family members by her side. I witnessed her grief and misery for many years and I am just happy for my own Lola that she's not going through that because no illness is more painful than dying alone.

And today she's blessed. Today is Lola's birthday. I said a prayer for her. I asked that even when it seems impossible, may she be given genuine happiness even for a day--even just for her birthday.

Later in the afternoon, something wonderful happened. One great news arrived. It was something my family and I have been waiting for for a long time.. something that has been my greatest dream since I started college. God gave it to me on Lola's birthday and I know why. It is His birthday gift to my Lola because Lola keeps praying for me. Everyday she prays for it to happen for me. She's not able to tell me that but I know in my heart that she does. And just as He answered Lola's prayer, He also answered mine..because I know Lola is genuinely happy today that God answered her prayers to bless her favorite apo. Thank you Lord.

And to Lola....
today, during the hardest, lowest time of your life..when you feel useless..when you feel like you can't do anything at all.. I want you to know that you have actually done something really great for me today..something far greater than all the things you did for me when you were still able..and it may be the greatest thing that ever happened to me..

so Lola..please don't feel that way..and don't cry anymore..because your silent prayer is my hope and your unmoving presence is the driving force of my life.. You are that strong for me Lola. I will forever be thankful to you and I love you..as I always have, my dear Lola..

He's Done It

Mar 19, '09 10:36 AM

It was a 7-year struggle. One of the most difficult challenges I ever had to deal with. I've thought of some strategies to get him to do it. I started with the simplest ones, the ones any eight-year-old would find easy and amusing. That didn't work. I shifted to the more mature, really good all-nighters but again, it was all in vain.

When all options have been exhausted, I resorted to my ever dependable, psywar strategy. (I'm not proud of this but hey, it works all the time..so..) After a few emotional tortures here and some blackmails there, I finally managed to get him to read a book! A certified 300-page-novel kind of book. Of course, to make up for the cruelty of my method, I gave him one that I knew boys like him would like. Pretty easy because as long as there's fighting, chasing, shooting and gorgeous women, they'll instantly like it. They're shallow that way (haha!).

Ok, so I chose Angels and Demons by Dan Brown. He was very, very reluctant (and rebellious!) when I made him start reading so I was incredulously amazed when, after only 2 nights, he finished the book. He loved it and wouldn't stop raving about it. It's very overwhelming, him finishing the entire book. It was the same feeling I got when I taught a 40-year-old Korean guy to read in English for the first time. I love reading. Finishing a good book is one of the best feelings in the world for me and I just wanted to share that with him.

Now, he's looking forward to the movie while I am looking forward to finally be able to say, "o lagi! iba lagi sa nabasa mo! madami lagi tinanggal! iniba lagi! shut up na! i'm trying to watch!"..haha..the exact words he'd been shouting at me when we watched the Harry Potter series, Memoirs of a Geisha, Da Vinci Code, etc.. I welcome him to the frustrating world of book-to-motion-picture. ; )

Anyway, my point here exactly is that we should always try to encourage someone to have at least one favorite book. You see, not everyone has the privilege of being able to read. Most of us take that for granted and are thoughtless of the fact that there are millions of illiterate people who are dying to learn how. And to those of us who are lucky enough to have the opportunity to teach or encourage someone to read, let it not be put to waste.

of plans and weathers

Mar 17, '09 3:11 AM

In the past few days, the weather here has been pretty dicey. It randomly changes from cold to hot and cool to warm..and vice versa! It drives me a little crazy because my workplace is a 20-minute walk away from home and I must be appropriately dressed because I have a low tolerance to cold plus a strong annoyance to the desert sun.

For instance, yesterday it was cold and I was pretty sure it's still winter. This morning, however, I decided to wear less constrictive clothing because it looked warm outside. I was convinced that summer has begun--until this afternoon when I was shivering on my way home and wishing I had more clothes on. It's a total switcheroo!

Anyway, during my walk home, I've been thinking and I realized that for the past couple of years, my life has been exactly like that--dicey. Except that I like it that way. It's actually fun and exciting not knowing what and where I'll be tomorrow. I like that everything is unpredictable right now. For most people, uncertainty causes anxiety therefore they plan ahead. I used to feel that way about it too but lately I've grown more comfortable with "uncertainty". There were things that I've seen, experienced and heard of recently that convinced me that what I'd like to have in my life is UNCERTAINTY and not PREDICTABILITY. Routine, I just realized, is my greatest misery.. and i vow not to become a part of one (--again. after I get out of this one. haha). It's just too structured with no room for spontaneity. Downright suffocating in the long run.

So..I'm just going to stop planning ahead now. I have a specific goal, that I know, and that's where I'm going still. But I'm not going to have a specific plan on how to get there because sometimes sticking to your plan narrows your horizon. Sometimes, you overlook better opportunities and better ways because you are too loyal to that plan..the one you've had for a long time and spent tremendous time and effort to. There's also a tendency for you to waste time because you'll keep waiting for the perfect time (which may never come!) for you to execute that specific plan.

So, there. I'm not planning ahead anymore. I don't need plans. Everything in the world changes so fast it will make any plan obsolete in just a day, anyway. The only thing I need is a clear goal so that everything I do will be according to that goal. Right now, I'm halfway to where I want to be and it's my gut feel that got me here, not the "fool-proof" plans that i used to have. Life's been laying out the cards for me and all i have to do is choose what I feel is the right one.

I'm going with my gut feel from now on..because like the weather, life is also chancy. I don't mind being unfortunate a few times because I lacked a backup plan rather than always have one but become edgy and overwrought the whole time. Much like today, I realized. I'm not going to suffer carrying a bigger, heavier bag that would fit a jacket and an umbrella every single day just so i can avoid that once-in-half-a-year, 20-minute inconvenience.

Kudos to you!

Mar 3, '09 2:20 PM

Today is my parents' 27th anniversary..and it's special occasions like this that remind me how very far away I am from home. Every year, I always do something special for them. This isn't really a major event in most families as it's something parents celebrate privately but still, I try to show them that it means something to me too ..so every year I give them small, casual gifts. Oh my brothers always have something for them too..but not because they actually remember but because I REMEMBER to include their names in the "from" portion of the card. (and just as I predicted, they didn't remember today!)

...but things aren't the same this year..i am here..and my annual "little somethings" won't be too casual to accomplish anymore..so I told myself that a simple greeting would do just fine. ...i think God thought otherwise. 3 weeks ago, my friend here told me she's going home for a few days and she can accommodate if I want to send some things back home..i bought something for my mom and dad and gave it to her..I haven't thought of it as a gift yet back then.. ...today i woke feeling a bit sad coz it's their anniversary and i haven't got anything..but later this afternoon, my friend sent me a message saying the small parcel's ready for pick up (and I totally forgot about it!). i immediately phoned my dad to ask him to get the "anniversary gift" I have for them. He said he's on his way home to get ready for their date but the place is on the way.

So there...it's like God conspired everything so that I won't have to miss a lot of things this year. It's not coincidental at all. From the very start, I think that that small package for my mom and dad was meant to be received today, at the most perfect time. I give God back all the glory. He knows this means the whole world to me. Knowing I make them smile is what keeps me going through all this "being away from home" drama. Happy Anniversary daddy and mama! I miss you a lot..I love you! and kudos to you for staying together through everything..

25 random things

Feb 21, '09 12:20 AM

i was tagged on my facebook account.. 25 random things about you..had fun reading other's lists so i made one too..gawa rin kayo, para makibasa ako..hehe

1. i look younger than my age and I act younger than i look..parang grade 5 lang..haha

2. i love arcades!..and basketball machines. My best in Sharpshooter is 155 in 45 secs..and I won in a mall competition once. ;)

3. i used to like basketball so much back in elementary--but only because i was obsessed with Vergel Meneses and Vince Hizon, i think. haha! (thanks for reminding me, drey!) I used to memorize all line-ups of PBA teams, watch draftings so I can update my list, collect NBA cards (of only the pogi players.), etc..that's not the case now..mostly, i get bored (sometimes annoyed! dugay mahuman..) by Lauro and his friends' NBA talks.

4. i don't like sleeping. i never take naps. Average daily hours of sleep i get is 4-5 since i started working. you can't imagine how my weekends are..hehe..i believe i have insomnia and i love it. all the good stuff comes out at night.hehe

5. i am envious when left-handed people write so when i was a kid, i practiced writing with my left hand. i can write well with both hands now.

6. i choose gadgets over everything else..over clothes, accessories, etc.. i like shopping but it doesn't give me a high. computers and cameras and ipods do.hehe

7. i get very lazy when i'm at home. i'd resist the urge to use the toilet and i'd deal with the thirst or hunger for as long as i can..i am THAT lazy.

8. i have this little obsession with geography. i can name all the countries of the world and the 50 states of america including each of their capitals. i swear this is the only geek part in me..hehe

9. i am artistic by heart. i love art, music, photography, film-making,etc..i have enough passion for them that could have made me a professional by now. the only thing i need and lacked are talents and skills..the same goes for my love for sports..hahaha

10. i am very competitive--especially with boys (grew up with 2 brothers, that's why). I can't play a sport without scores nor play cards without bets..and i have to win..haha and i hate it when i'm playing against them and it's obvious ginapagbgyan lang ako coz i'm a girl..grr..hate it! kamo nlng dula! bleh!

11. i can live off fastfood for the rest of my life. and i'm a junk eater..i just switch from potato chips to chocolates to candies all day.

12. i can't eat and not talk...and i linger at dinner tables looong after i finish..and i eat painfully slow, too..i need at least 2 hours all in all..(joyce, shai..5 hours sgro pag with you..at McDo..haha)

13. i am tone-deaf but i sing all the time anyway. i think people hate that part of me..i mess up the songs in their heads.

14. i have a small old book that i've had with me for 18 years now. i still read it regularly. The Greatest Salesman in the World by Og Mandino...has been my mantra for almost 2 decades now..;)

15. i like climbing. when i was around 10, i climbed the rooftop of a 2-storey house through a tall tree beside it. when i realized what i had just done, i cried until my kuya came to get me. haha

16. i'd give up my bachelor's degree (and high school too) if i could play a sport professionally. or be in a band..watcha think joyce,shai,een,rai? reunion? hahaha..yuck..kahiya..

17. i love love love guessing games! charades, pictionary, whatever..basta guessing2..even in simple conversations, i usually jump at opportunities to say, "wait, ako lang..starts with what letter? ends with?".. haha annoying sya i know..can't help it..

18. i won't ever outgrow carnivals and cotton candies, McDonald's and skittles, video games and cartoon shows..and tigso! haha

19. my ultimate goal is to become a rich philanthropist with a nice camera in my hand. hehe

20. i run, skip, hop, jump when i move about in the house. i would outside, too, if only people wouldn't stare.

21. Toddlers are my favorite group of people! oh and psyche patients too..super lingaw kausap..

22. i'm generally optimistic. people misjudge me as "walang pakialam" because i almost never worry except when people expect (or pressure!) me to..so i tend to fake worrying..haha i do care,though..i just don't linger on a situation long enough for it to fall under "worry" category..lol

23. i have a picture of poor little african children in my mind that won't go away. as in, permanent sya. it's weird but everyday it just pops out of nowhere. maka depress for a while but then i think of it as a reminder of how lucky i am and blessed to have the means to help them. i'm going to africa this year! or the next.. hopefully..

24. i am always late..always..the worse that i got for always being late was to fail a class just because of accumulated number of tardiness..3 tardiness = 1 absence..i got 13 absences..so that's a whole semester of coming to class late..tagam, nabagsak..haha

25. my greatest childhood influence was i think my 2 brothers..which is why i like having boys for company. my brothers looove sibling competition which was fun for us because they weren't about parents' attention or school performance.that's how i got competitive with boys, i think. kuya was my early musical influence so my taste in music isn't very girly. he was good with the guitar too so in high school i taught myself to play it just to have one more thing to compete with him.haha my little brother got way better than us though. he's a budding Santana! (i miss them..huhu..i love them to death..eew!)

Call me a hypocrite but...

Feb 10, '09 1:29 AM

Science is pointless..

I don't hate science, I just think it's pointless. It tells us how things work, how they came to be, how they came up with it, blah blah blah.. so what, right?

ok, ok..i know one nerd out there would overreact to that..but i do think it's pointless. Like in medicine..they find cure, prevention, develop technologies, yadda yadda yadda but for what? so we get well after abusing our bodies? so we can avoid feeling pain? so we can cheat death? pain is there for a reason and we're all gonna die eventually, anyway.

Picture this: if the ENGINEERS and ARCHITECTS had not designed cool cars and palatial houses, would you have thought of getting rich? if the mad SCIENTISTS hadn't invented bombs and other weapons of destruction, would war likely to happen? if DOCTORS weren't all genie-make-me-well nowadays, would we still take our health for granted? and wouldn't it be much easier if we were just to accept illness as God's will and just let things fall where they may? That's much more peaceful and meaningful than trying so hard to manipulate things which only God has complete control over.

The root problem, I think, is that we think too much..and when we think, all these amazing science breakthroughs come up because we're intelligent..but also ambitious, obsessive and fanatical..so i hate that we're intelligent..i want to be naive and ignorant..i wish i didn't know of computers and cellphones and cars and medical solutions and tv and the internet and airplanes..especially airplanes! (that's the reason i'm missing a lot of people)..

*sigh*...i have got to stop watching Grey's Anatomy.

wait wait wait

Feb 7, '09 5:05 PM

"...if pain must come, may it come quickly..for I have a life to live..and i have to live it the best way that i can. forgetting is painful, waiting is painful..but not knowing which to do is the worst kind of suffering.." -Paolo Coehlo (By The River Piedra I Sat Down And Wept)

that is as much as i can remember from what he wrote..i might have missed, changed, added some words unknowingly so if anyone out there knows the excerpt, or has the book, help.hehe

i hate waiting! i can't wait!

ouch...

Feb 3, '09 6:21 AM

I was reading the newspaper today and I saw this picture of a Palestinian child caught in one of the attacks in Gaza. For how many weeks now, I see from pictures dead bodies sprawled across the street, wounded women and children being carried around, and families trapped and killed in the rubbles of their very homes.

..but this seemingly simple, unthought of picture of a child was the only one that made me stop for a moment and pray...sakit sa heart! Just by looking at the child's tormented eyes and his silent but reminiscent scream, I had a glimpse of of the anguish and agony and suffering of all the Palestinian victims of war.. only through his eyes..

..and I wish I could do something about this now.. I want to stop being one of those who keep complaining about what's happening to our world but doesn't do anything to better it even a little. When I complain about our terrible government, I stop myself because I've never voted before..so I feel like I don't have the right to complain, dba? haha

..so I hope this picture, along with so many others, reach and touch those people who actually have the power and means to put an end to their suffering and hopefully, to finally change the world. I hope they also realize how very privileged they are of having such power.

Obama's speech..my favorite part..

Jan 21, '09 5:25 AM

"...To those leaders around the globe who seek to sow conflict, or blame their society's ills on the West -- know that your people will judge you on what you can build, not what you destroy. To those who cling to power through corruption and deceit and the silencing of dissent, know that you are on the wrong side of history, but that we will extend a hand if you are willing to unclench your fist.
To the people of poor nations, we pledge to work, alongside you to make your farms flourish and let clean waters flow; to nourish starved bodies and feed hungry minds. And to those nations like ours that enjoy relatively plenty, we say we can no longer afford indifference to the suffering outside our borders; nor can we consume the world's resources without regard to effect. For the world has changed, and we must change with it..." - Barack Hussein Obama

After this speech, I'm sure not only Americans are hopeful, but the entire world as well. As of now, I actually don't care if everything he said will be achieved or not, I don't think that far too soon. I'm just really happy for the hope that it's given the world, especially for those who suffer from today's many crises. I'm happy because HOPE is exactly what we need to have. With hope we always have something to look forward to so that however miserable you are right now it wouldn't really matter that much. We must learn never to deprive anyone, including ourselves, of hope..because sometimes, it's the only thing we've got..

I Feel...

Jan 17, '09 3:38 PM

DISPLACED. Yes, as a matter of fact, I am. Everyday, when I wake up, I tell myself that I am not supposed to be here. I am in a country that has only one single church where ALL Christians (not just Catholics) go to, has the worst traffic and transportation than any that I have experienced and imagined, the worst summer where it goes up to 50 degrees, the fastest running time in the world, house rents that are unbelievably high and constant encounters with people who haven't heard of personal hygiene before.

First of all, I looked up the population of Christians in Dubai and it's almost 50%! And yet, there's only one church in the emirate! How cruel..We have like, thousands of mosques in Mindanao alone. Next, transportation is GRABE. The ratio, I think, is 1000 pasahero to 1 taxi. I swear, it's like winning a mini lottery if you can get a taxi in half an hour's time. Nope, not exaggerating. Ask anyone you know here. So..how are we going to get to and from that one church, right? Sa mga taga Davao, here's the picture: it would take half the time to WALK from the church than to commute and the distance is from Victoria Plaza to NCCC mall in Matina. So you actually get to hear mass and do penance at the same time. Pretty rewarding, actually..but still...

The thing that I hate most is that time is such a luxury around here. Get-togethers are so rare even with cousins and friends living only a block away from you. Weekdays are so dragging. You have to wake up early because again, the traffic is terrible. When you get home it's just in time for dinner and afterwards, you'll be too tired to do anything so you just sleep (except for me, coz i don't sleep until after it's midnight. i'm just complaining FOR my friends.hehe). Weekends aren't so special even because you just spend it by sleeping in late for that much needed sleep. It's pure torture for me because I'm one of those who have lots and lots of hobbies. I'm very preoccupied (preoccupied lng, not busy. there's a difference.hehe). It might look like I'm not doing anything at all but on some level I'm pretty much preoccupied. There are a lot of things that I want do that I wish I had the time for.. read, review for an exam, take up photography lessons, spanish lessons, watch all the tv series I have lined up, lounge around, do crosswords, blog, photoshop, cook, eat, jog, email everyone..a lot more! but I can't do all that here because there's just not enough time. I can't even have time to be alone.

I can actually go on for a hundred paragraphs more why I feel I'm not fit here. Nevertheless, I know I cannot change the fact that I am actually here and I think I've accepted that now. I just find comfort in the knowledge that I am EXACTLY where God has put me to live and I am where I need to be. So I guess I'm not so displaced after all.

20 Pet Peeves

Jan 15, '09 3:51 PM

I can't stand...

1. being asked the same question twice..well,ok..thrice! Imagine:
Q: kumain ka na?
Me: tapos na..
Q: sure?
Me: yup, sure..
Q: sigurado ka ha?
Me: (long, deep breath.. then smile)..yes, TAPOS na talga...
this is really the worst for me..as in..for such a mundane question, does it really have to be this stressful a conversation? dba...haha

2. boys shaking their legs when sitting down. Not only does it cause little tremors that make you feel like you're in a pumpboat but it is also such an EYE SORE, LAURO! stop it already! grrrr...

3. People who fail to take into account their backpacks when moving about or turning around. Hello...nabanggaan nami saimong bag...

4. when you're OBVIOUSLY trying to cross the street and a jeepney stops right in front of you to ask if sasakay ka...hello again.. If I wanted a ride, I would be looking directly at you and giving you a "para" signal, ok? so uso sa davao..haha

5. when i'm eating and someone reaches OVER my plate or when people try to get things INSIDE or OUTSIDE my plate. Mind your own plato please...

6. people who are mean to animals. I hope there really is an after-life and they'd become pigs with minds of human beings so that everyday they know they're only being fed just to be eaten.. hahaha.. and on Christmas! double haha

7. when you genuinely ask someone what's wrong (because something's obviously wrong) and they respond half-heartedly, "hmmm? wla man..." and that's even after asking him/her 10 times or more... (Lau, what's that snort for?! haha)

8. Guys who don't lift the toilet seat up when they pee. I live with 2 brothers -- the slobby, annoying ones (you know I love you guys). All my nagging and screaming didn't lift that toilet seat up!

9. when I'm eating my Skittles and someone asks if he/she can have a red or a purple one. haha

10. how opening any cheap electronic item these days requires cutting up your finger with impossible to open plastic molding covering.

11. when something I've been into for a long time suddenly becomes popular. Like when they use my favorite classical songs in commercials. Or think Hey There Delilah and FloRida's Low... diba?

12. when everyone in the group including my self refuse to be the decision maker about something so simple like which restaurant to eat at and we'll end up standing by the street for half an hour just discussing who should decide..

13. when you have an itch on the soles of your feet and you can't scratch it because you have shoes on. aaaarrgghhh!!!!

14. people who blow their horns inconsiderately. Like when a car in front of them is obviously having trouble starting its engine and they think that causing so much noise will jump start it. Seriously, do you really think he doesn't know he's in the middle of the street and causing a traffic jam?...

15. athletes who point to the sky after scoring. What is that?!?!?!

16. when a movie has just started and someone asks something you obviously don't know because the movie HAS JUST STARTED..

17. when someone says he's not even tipsy after drinking ten bottles of beer plus 10 shots of tequila or when he acts like crap when he's just had only 2 margaritas. Really now!

18. when people are giving a speech in class and they won't stop looking at you as they speak. It's really uncomfortable, ok?

19. when someone tries to talk to you when you have earphones on. If it's not important nor interesting please let me enjoy my music for awhile..

20. when you're wearing a hat or a tight head band and after a while it feels like it's not there. When you take it off, it feels like it's still there. It's just so confusing and I have to keep rubbing my head to remove the phantom feeling!