Dec 10, 2011

I Feel...

Jan 17, '09 3:38 PM

DISPLACED. Yes, as a matter of fact, I am. Everyday, when I wake up, I tell myself that I am not supposed to be here. I am in a country that has only one single church where ALL Christians (not just Catholics) go to, has the worst traffic and transportation than any that I have experienced and imagined, the worst summer where it goes up to 50 degrees, the fastest running time in the world, house rents that are unbelievably high and constant encounters with people who haven't heard of personal hygiene before.

First of all, I looked up the population of Christians in Dubai and it's almost 50%! And yet, there's only one church in the emirate! How cruel..We have like, thousands of mosques in Mindanao alone. Next, transportation is GRABE. The ratio, I think, is 1000 pasahero to 1 taxi. I swear, it's like winning a mini lottery if you can get a taxi in half an hour's time. Nope, not exaggerating. Ask anyone you know here. are we going to get to and from that one church, right? Sa mga taga Davao, here's the picture: it would take half the time to WALK from the church than to commute and the distance is from Victoria Plaza to NCCC mall in Matina. So you actually get to hear mass and do penance at the same time. Pretty rewarding, actually..but still...

The thing that I hate most is that time is such a luxury around here. Get-togethers are so rare even with cousins and friends living only a block away from you. Weekdays are so dragging. You have to wake up early because again, the traffic is terrible. When you get home it's just in time for dinner and afterwards, you'll be too tired to do anything so you just sleep (except for me, coz i don't sleep until after
it's midnight. i'm just complaining FOR my friends.hehe). Weekends aren't so special even because you just spend it by sleeping in late for that much needed sleep. It's pure torture for me because I'm one of those who have lots and lots of hobbies. I'm very preoccupied (preoccupied lng, not busy. there's a difference.hehe). It might look like I'm not doing anything at all but on some level I'm pretty much preoccupied. There are a lot of things that I want do that I wish I had the time for.. read, review for an exam, take up photography lessons, spanish lessons, watch all the tv series I have lined up, lounge around, do crosswords, blog, photoshop, cook, eat, jog, email everyone..a lot more! but I can't do all that here because there's just not enough time. I can't even have time to be alone.

I can actually go on for a hundred paragraphs more
why I feel I'm not fit here. Nevertheless, I know I cannot change the fact that I am actually here and I think I've accepted that now. I just find comfort in the knowledge that I am EXACTLY where God has put me to live and I am where I need to be. So I guess I'm not so displaced after all.

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